The words that come to me after reading your incredibly open and revealing article might sound a little like cliches. But I mean them. You are loved. You deserve love. You are accepted by all the people who matter. You are a beautiful human being. And you are a conscientious, resourceful, and loving mom and a devoted and inspiring writer. None of these wonderful qualities depend on a particular number on the scale.
Beyond these affirmations, I would add that whenever thin people, be they doctors or others, act like it's a straightforward matter to lose weight, well, they don't know what they are talking about. They are smug and callous. This condescending, hurtful attitude reminds me of how many affluent people talk about folks who are struggling to make ends meet. Deep down, many of the affluent feel that their good fortune has not come to them by the grace of God but rather strictly from their own virtue. It is not fashionable to admit outright to this kind of self-righteousness, but so many well-off individuals--along with notably thin and fit people--communicate arrogance implicitly.
In any case, you are a person of great dignity. I hope you can allow yourself to hold your head up high and receive the respect and love that is your due.
This was incredibly powerful and beautifully written. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I don’t know you but I can tell you have a very important place in this world
Thank you for sharing this. So much of it resonates with me. I have felt and feel many of the same things. Ironically I have never been so humiliated by a doctor regarding my weight as I was by a UCLA doctor.
Life is more complicated than most people realize. Our bodies come with us on all these difficult journeys and here inside -- here we are.
I’m so glad this resonated with you Minna. I really wish that doctors (and big hospitals like UCLA specifically) would acknowledge the current research, do away with BMI models and look at the whole person rather than just the weight.
And so much yes! Our bodies have been through so much and need to be acknowledged as such instead of something that constantly needs to fixed and molded into a specific size.
Raw truth. Thank you for sharing. Have you read Hilary Mantell’s (author of the amazing historical Wolf Hall trilogy) memoir Giving up the Ghost? It’s not long, but so beautifully written about her dysfunctional family background and the terrible distress of losing control of her body to the ravages of illness and medications.
Hi Vickee,
The words that come to me after reading your incredibly open and revealing article might sound a little like cliches. But I mean them. You are loved. You deserve love. You are accepted by all the people who matter. You are a beautiful human being. And you are a conscientious, resourceful, and loving mom and a devoted and inspiring writer. None of these wonderful qualities depend on a particular number on the scale.
Beyond these affirmations, I would add that whenever thin people, be they doctors or others, act like it's a straightforward matter to lose weight, well, they don't know what they are talking about. They are smug and callous. This condescending, hurtful attitude reminds me of how many affluent people talk about folks who are struggling to make ends meet. Deep down, many of the affluent feel that their good fortune has not come to them by the grace of God but rather strictly from their own virtue. It is not fashionable to admit outright to this kind of self-righteousness, but so many well-off individuals--along with notably thin and fit people--communicate arrogance implicitly.
In any case, you are a person of great dignity. I hope you can allow yourself to hold your head up high and receive the respect and love that is your due.
All my best wishes,
Glen
Your words mean so much more to me than I can convey in this moment. Thank you Glen. <3
This was incredibly powerful and beautifully written. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I don’t know you but I can tell you have a very important place in this world
Thank for your kind words Harmony, that means a lot to me. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing this. So much of it resonates with me. I have felt and feel many of the same things. Ironically I have never been so humiliated by a doctor regarding my weight as I was by a UCLA doctor.
Life is more complicated than most people realize. Our bodies come with us on all these difficult journeys and here inside -- here we are.
I’m so glad this resonated with you Minna. I really wish that doctors (and big hospitals like UCLA specifically) would acknowledge the current research, do away with BMI models and look at the whole person rather than just the weight.
And so much yes! Our bodies have been through so much and need to be acknowledged as such instead of something that constantly needs to fixed and molded into a specific size.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing!
Raw truth. Thank you for sharing. Have you read Hilary Mantell’s (author of the amazing historical Wolf Hall trilogy) memoir Giving up the Ghost? It’s not long, but so beautifully written about her dysfunctional family background and the terrible distress of losing control of her body to the ravages of illness and medications.
Sending love while you tenderly nurture yourself.
Hi Valerie. I have not, I'll have to add that to my list though. It sounds like just what I need. Thank you! <3
Funny but I just looked at myself in the mirror for a good minute or two the other day. Intense. Not bad. Just...yeah.
Intense is the perfect word Michael.