Another Mind Hijacking.

She tried desperately to stop thinking about him, but she couldn’t get him out of her mind. She hated it when this happened. She didn’t want to think about him. She’d been going along living her life just fine and then, out of nowhere he just showed up in her thoughts and refused to leave for days (sometimes it was weeks).

It’s kind of how he was in real life too. He claimed she was always there, always on his mind. But she had a hard time believing him.

One day he would call out of the blue and apologize for letting so much time pass. She would be irritated when she saw his number, but always answered his calls and would forgive him the instant she heard his voice.

Every time, she thought it would be different, but it never was. He would disappear again. He always did. Everything would be fine, and then one day he wouldn’t respond to her text or wouldn’t return her call and she knew he was gone again.  Sometimes for weeks, months, even a few years.

It frustrated her. Especially because she knew it was partly her fault. He never felt any urgency to stick around because she always took him back no matter how long it had been. He knew that. He took advantage of that.

She tried blocking his number so she wouldn’t have to talk to him again, but then she was afraid she would miss his call. But wasn’t that the point? She was pathetic and she knew it.

Why was she like this with him? Why did he have such a hold over her? No one else had ever taken over her rational mind like he had. It was angering. She was not a simpering teenager. She was a grown woman. She was past this kind of nonsense. Past allowing people to treat her this way. But then she just let him keep doing it, over and over again.

She wanted him in her life, always, but he never really was. The only place he was with her consistently, was in her mind.